To all you HP SLASH/FLUFF lovers out there!
by Rylea
Summary: **If you enjoy HP slash, or even if you don't, please read/review this** It's a poem about slashing Harry Potter... I wrote this after being sick of seeing all the extremely explicit stuff out there having to do with the series...


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Wow...what - _controversial _- reviews, LOL! But after reading all the feedback...the good, the bad and the ugly (mind you, I'm keeping them all up), I decided I need to get a few things straight here. I wrote a review saying all this, but it kinda makes more sense to read the poem first, right? Anyway, I'm not attacking homosexuality, sex-stories, or whatever you want to call it, for ADULT STORIES. What I'm disgusted at is seeing so many _Harry Potter _sex stories. I mean, first of all, there supposed to be _kids _right? Probably no older then fourteen. I _know _there not real, but it's the IDEA of putting two kids together in a sexually explicit story that's just wrong. And it's a CHILDREN SERIES! As for you guys saying, 'Slash is men and men, not Ginny and Hagrid, blah blah blah - i hate you...die...die...die... blah blah blah...', I was writing about any kind of sexually explicit stuff. I see how you could have gotten the wrong idea, but whatever. Sorry if I was a little vague on that. 

And FYI, I HAVE read HP a few slash/sex/whatever stories before to see what the big deal was. I was very disgusted (not 'Ewwww, cooties!' disgusted) at what was written. The characters in the stories were still kids, but going at it, nonetheless. Maybe...just _maybe_...it's me, but I personally don't think that writing about child-porn is...as one reviewer put it...'beautiful'. And for the people who say it was unnecessary to write a derogatory poem about them, your perfectly free to write a derogatory poem about me! I'll post it right to mine, as a matter of fact. I'm expressing my views, just like you are all doing when you click 'review' 

Believe it or not, I appreciate all feedback, and I'm reading them all with an open mind (though some I honestly can't tell if they're agreeing or disagreeing). Yet I still fail to see how these type of Harry Potter fics are in any way decent. But I hope you guys keep the feedback coming either way, because I really like to hear from both sides. Drop me a line (or a novel) in the review section! 

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There once was a girl who wanted to write

A fan-fiction story of a Harry Potter night.

For to her it would be of the best kind of news

To find that her story had gotten reviews!

So she wrote of a new girl 

With eyes of bright blue.

"Oh no," she remembered. "It's a Mary-Sue!"

And she then wrote another fic

Where she herself saved the day.

"I can't post this," she muttered. "They'd flame me away!"

So she thought, and she thought, and scanned through her mind

Plots of every shape and kind

"This sucks," she thought gloomily. "Oh, it's such a huge pain!"

"There's not a story to write that won't be called lame!"

She wrote more ideas down on a whole list of stuff

'Til finally she had it - she'd write a fluff!

"They'll notice me for SURE!" she thought with a grin.

And she began to write about sex between men. 

She put Snape with Hermione, and Draco with Harry 

Ginny and Hagrid was also quite scary.

She posted her stories for the world to see,

To please all the perverts with an I.Q. of 3.

Yet she got her reviews! A hundred and four!

People were praising her, _begging _for more!

__

Excellent story!!!, said BigJohnnySeven

__

Please right some more!!, said AngelEleven

__

Don't leave me hangin'!, said JasonMcCallent

But they all failed to realize that she had no talent.

"I'm getting quite good," she thought. "Writing this is fun!"

When suddenly from behind came a BANG like a gun.

She turned around, and to her great surprise,

The characters stood there - right before her eyes!

"Your perverted indeed," Harry said with a sneer. 

"And that is the reason that I have come here."

"Your mutilating us all!" Ron said turning green.

"Or have you forgotten I'm only FOURTEEN?"

"I don't know what's worse," said Hermione to the floor.

"That a fan is writing this, or that people want more."

Harry walked forward, his voice was real brash,

"It's not funny at all, turning my books into trash.

I'm only a kid, I'm your age in fact

And to put real bluntly...your writing is crap.

This trash is just terrible...and who would have thunk...

You'd ever get praised for this child-porn junk?

Look at 'A Mondern-Day Cassandra', by the author Mardia

Has four reviews in all, yet an awesome idea.

It's quality over quantity...and I have news for you,

You'd have been better off writing another Mary-Sue."

Harry raised his wand, and pointed at the screen.

There were great puffs of smoke, then a bright flash of green.

When the smog cleared away, the room was now clear.

But her computer lay in shambles, pieces there and here.

Never again did she write another fic,

Having to do with slash or anything sick.

And to all the writers out there - a word to the wise.

Never write anything your mother'd despise.

It's much better and fun to stick with the scenes,

So please STOP WRITING THOSE NC-17s!!!


End file.
